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Star-gazing

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We live away from city lights & on a clear night stars shine clearly & brightly over our home. The Milky Way twinkles as it stretches across the darkness above our chimney.And during wintry early starts, we have the blessing of stars in the morning too!

Star gazing always makes me think big thoughts about our Great Big God.Tonight, I thought of how the star-scattering, life-giving Creator God came down to earth.

‘Lo,within a manger lies
He who built the starry skies’
(‘See amid the winter snow-Edward Caswall)

He left the glorious untainted splendour of heaven,
to be born as a baby,
to dwell on this earth.

‘God who is the Creator of the Universe, comes to us in smallness, weakness and hiddenness.’ (Henri Nouwen)

He came to be God with us- Imanuel.
A God with feelings and fingerprints.
A God to be where we are.

He was human & divine. ‘He became what he was not, but he ceased not to be what he was’ (JohnOwen)

And our Creator God marked this unique event by placing a new star in the sky as a sign.

‘He determines the number of the stars and calls them each by name.’
‭‭(Psalm‬ ‭147:4‬ ‭NIV‬‬)

The Magi in the East saw the star:
‘When they saw the star, they rejoiced with exceeding great joy.’
(Matthew‬ ‭2:10‬ ‭KJV‬‬)

Then they saw the baby:
‘On coming to the house, they saw the child with his mother Mary, and they bowed down and worshiped him. Then they opened their treasures and presented him with gifts of gold, frankincense and myrrh.’
‭‭(Matthew‬ ‭2:11‬ ‭NIV‬‬)

I sang these words for the first timeon Christmas Eve:

‘Led by the light of faith serenely beaming,
With glowing hearts by His cradle we stand.
O’er the world a star is sweetly gleaming,
Now come the wisemen from out of the Orient land.
The King of kings lay thus lowly manger;
In all our trials born to be our friend.
He knows our need, our weakness is no stranger,
Behold your King! Before him lowly bend!’
( O holy night-Cappeau)

Yet, apart from Mary & Joseph, the angels, a few shepherds & stargazers from the East, the rest of the planet Earth was totally unaware of the eternally significant event that unfolded one starry night in Bethlehem.

One Carol says, ‘How silently, how silently, the precious Gift is given’

And even on our {not so} silent nights, we can:
‘Look out past the stars, look to the One who put them there.’
(Keith Green)

As someone said ‘ Why wish upon a star when you can talk to the One who made them!’

Although we haven’t seen Jesus on earth, we can trust & believe:

‘Though you have not seen him, you love him. Though you do not now see him, you believe in him and rejoice with joy that is inexpressible and filled with glory.’ (I Pet 1:8)

Blessings,

Ruth x

Hear the angels sing

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I love the anticipation of Christmas Eve & the atmosphere of Christmas Day. But there’s something welcoming about the quieter pace of Boxing Day & the un-named days thereafter between Christmas & New Year. Between the Old & New. ‘Twixmas’ they’ve recently been christened.

This gap can be a pause, to reflect & resolve. To quieten our hearts & still our souls.To listen to the angel song.

‘We need to find God, and He cannot be found in noise and restlessness.’
(Mother Theresa)

During the past week between work & rushed wrapping I was listening to a less well known Christmas carol written by Edmund Hamilton Sears in 1849:

‘It came upon the midnight clear,
That glorious song of old,
From angels bending near the earth
To touch their harps of gold!
Peace on the earth, good will to men,
From heaven’s all gracious King!
The world in solemn stillness lay
To hear the angels sing.’

In this rushing, digital world we need to shut out the cacophony of distractions.

Verse 3 of the carol has soothing words:

‘Oh rest beside the weary road
And hear the angels sing.’

Centuries ago on a star-spangled hillside near Bethlehem a choir of angels sang:

“Glory to God in the highest.And on earth peace, goodwill toward men!”
(Luke 2:14 NKJV)

Gloria in excelsis Deo. Their words declared the resplendence of Almighty God. Their song proclaimed peace on earth & His goodwill to men.

Peace is not merely the absence of war, trouble or heartache. Peace is more than calmness in our personal life, or halcyon days on the world stage.

Rather, peace is the presence of God- the long promised Imanuel- God with us.

Before the angelic choir sang, the angel of The Lord said,”Do not be afraid. I bring you good news of great joy that will be for all people”
(Luke2:10 NIV)

The angel reminded us there is no need to fear. There’s good news of great joy.

“Today in the town of David a Saviour has been born to you; he is the Messiah, the Lord.”
(Luke 2:11NIV)

Over two thousand years ago, the Promised One was born to seek & save the lost. To save us from ourselves. To save us from our sins.

We can rejoice in this truth at Christmas, & always. Now & forever.

So, in these days of Twixmas:
‘Rest beside the weary road
And hear the angels sing.’

Blessings,
Ruthx

PS Listen to ‘A Christmas Hallelujah‘ by Cloverton

The ultimate gift

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Tis the season…to shop till you drop,grab a coffee to go, then shop some more!

Of course we started exchanging presents as a reminder of the gifts of gold,frankincense & myrrh presented to Jesus. But at times we go Totally Over The Top. I mean,what do we give our nearest & dearest who have everything they want-& more?

I walked under the canopy of lights in Victoria Square on Wednesday night then through the Christmas market to get inspiration. St George’s market was shut but a red sparkly bow adorned the entrance- making the whole building look like a present.

There’s daily emails bombarding my inbox with all sorts of gift ideas- including Boots star buys that I’m tempted to buy for myself!

While we endeavour to give great gifts, God is the ultimate Gift-Giver:

‘Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows.’
(James 1:17 NIV)

‘God’s gifts put men’s best dreams to shame’
(Elizabeth Barrett Browning)

The greatest gift came in unexpected wrapping. All the fullness of God- His grace & goodness, majesty & might, wrapped in swaddling clothes,lying in a manger

‘Once in our world, a Stable had something in it that was bigger than our whole world.’
(C.S. Lewis)

As we grow older our Christmas wish list gets shorter & we find that the things we want aren’t things. Sometimes the best gift we can give to others is our time.

Someone once wrote that love can be spelt T-I-M-E. Jesus loved us so much that He gave up eternity to spend time on earth.

‘For God so loved the world that He gave His One & Only Son’
(John 3:16)

‘Thou who wast rich beyond all splendour,
All for love’s sake becamest poor;
Thrones for a manger didst surrender,
Sapphire-paved courts for stable floor.
Thou who wast rich beyond all splendour,
All for love’s sake becamest poor.’
(Frank Houghton)

He came to earth & became flesh, so that we can be adopted into the family of God through faith. The Gift of God means that we can become children of God.

‘The Son of God became a man to enable men to become sons of God.’
( C. S. Lewis-Mere Christianity)

‘Yet to all who did receive him, to those who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God’
(John 1:12 NIV)

‘See what great love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are! The reason the world does not know us is that it did not know him.’
(1 John 3:1 NIV)

God’s gift is a long lasting, never-ending present-eternal life.

‘For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.’
(Romans 6:23 NIV)

God’s gifts can be found in unexpected places in our lives-in the dark, difficult days:
‘God said “I will give you hidden treasures, riches stored in secret places, so that you may know that I am the Lord, the God of Israel, who summons you by name.
I form the light and create darkness, I bring prosperity and create disaster; I, the Lord, do all these things.”
(Isaiah 45:3, 7 NIV)

Going forward through the darkness into the light, His Presence is the greatest present.

Christmas is
when God reached down,
when God became one of us,
with us in this journey of life.

Isaiah foretold this crucial aspect of the incarnation:
‘All right then, the Lord himself will give you the sign. Look! The virgin will conceive a child! She will give birth to a son and will call him Immanuel (which means ‘God is with us’)
(Isaiah 7:14 NLT)

‘His name is God With Us and we believe He is.’
(Emily P Freeman)

‘Thanks be to God for his indescribable gift!’
(2 Corinthians 9:15 NIV)

This Christmastime, if you haven’t already done so, will you accept this ultimate gift from God – the Gift of Himself, for now & forever?

Blessings,

Ruthx

A gift to your future self

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It arrived in the post last month- a welcome surprise on a dull Monday via Amazon. It was a gift to my future self- a book I’d pre-ordered months ago. (God space by Keri Wyatt Kent)

I first heard the phrase ‘gift for my future self’ on Gretchen Ruben’s Happier podcast …& I liked it. The idea of doing something now to help your future self is appealing.Like pre-ordering a book. Or starting to exercise.Or making overnight oats for breakfast the night before.

‘But that’s just being organized!’ my sister-in-law Linda exclaimed. And it is!

But a gift for your future self sounds less ordinary & more whimsical!

My teenage children still tease me about my overnight oats as a gift to my future self!

Recently I’ve been thinking about gifts I should have given to my future self years ago, when those teenagers were small.

Back then, I had two children under two- both in nappies. Caris was just a toddler when Ethan was born in Nov 2002. His birth was straightforward- but there was an eruption of stress in the days before his birth. I didn’t sleep at all in the days before or after delivery. My mind was on over-drive filled with crazy, racing thoughts. After a week I was diagnosed with postnatal psychosis.

Postnatal psychosis is a tsunami in the mind that creates chaos in everyday life – the aftermath takes years to settle.The happy celebration of new life in the family morphs into a life-altering nightmare.My sleep-starved deluded self existed in a world that made sense initially but disintegrated as thoughts clash faster & faster.The fabric of daily life unravelled beneath me into tangles & we’re free falling from the life we love into the abyss of depression & psychosis.

Medication meant that the racing thoughts subsided relatively quickly, but months of depression followed. Chances are, statistically speaking, that more than a few of you reading this will know what I mean- when I talk of days of living in black & white rather than colour. Days of existing without truly living. Doing life with the joy squeezed out of it. Having ‘eyes without sparkle’ as one writer put it.

Just getting through the day felt like a momentous achievement.

But I did get through those long days & seemingly short years. This Thanksgiving I felt blessed & grateful for good mental health.

And as another birthday approaches, I think of the dark days less than the years before.

So what gifts should I have given myself for my future self then?

*Time

It would have been reassuring to know back then that things would get better with time.

It does take time to recover from mental illness -an unquantifiable length of time. But gradually, painstakingly slowly,you will get better.

Your baby won’t actually remember those days & with time your own memories will fade into the background.

In the middle of the mayhem,take time out doing whatever helps.Whatever works for you.

In time I would see the therapeutic value of writing. And reading when concentration improved.And running. Someone wrote ‘Running is the washing machine of the mind’ – I should have used it sooner!

Make time to go to Mother & Toddlers- even if you don’t feel like it. Even if it feels awkward initially.

*Help

You need to accept help.Trust those who know you best & love you most. If they suggest you need professional help- you probably do!

Your Community Midwife,Health Visitor or GP can all help. It’s what they’re there for!

During your Postnatal Visit with your GP, they’ll want to check your mental well-being. They may ask if you been bothered by feeling down, depressed,or hopeless over the past month. Or if you have had little interest/ pleasure in doing things. They are relying on you telling the truth & will offer help & support if you do.

*Faith

Going through the dark days, I had some faith. I wish I had more.

‘I have learned that faith means trusting in advance what will only make sense in reverse.’
(Philip Yancey )

As I look back I know that I never walked alone – I was carried by God (as it says in the Footsteps poem)

You may not share my faith, but TBH I just can’t fathom how you make it through life without God

‘Does that make my faith a crutch? Maybe. But what does a crutch do? It helps you stand and makes you stronger. So, yes, when I face overwhelming odds, I need a bit of that.’
(Bear Grylls)

When I was most unwell, I could only read a few verses at a time.These verses meant a lot to me at the time, & would even more to my future self:

God said,
“Don’t be afraid, I’ve redeemed you.
I’ve called your name. You’re mine.
When you’re in over your head, I’ll be there with you.
When you’re in rough waters, you will not go down.
When you’re between a rock and a hard place, it won’t be a dead end-
Because I am GOD, your personal God”
(‭‭Isaiah‬ ‭43:1-3‭MSG‬‬)

‘He heals the broken-hearted & binds up their wounds. He determines the number of the stars & calls them each by name. Great is our Lord & mighty in power-His understanding has no limit’ (Psalm147:3-5)

I would remind my future self that in the messy middle of our story, the Author of life walks through our dark chapters with us.

If you are still there in the messy middle, stressed out but struggling through, pause & give your future self the gift of time,help & faith

(I say future self for when your mind is messed up & everyday life is disturbed, your current self cannot see any benefit to doing anything!)

Time. Help. Faith.

Blessings,

Ruthx

http://www.blessedme.org

PS

This was originally written for Lindsay who campaigns for Maternal Mental Health & blogs at Have you seen that girl. Find resources collected by her HERE

Find support on the Aware website or at Best Beginnings . PANDAS is a foundation supporting pre & postnatal depression.

The bottom line is it’s ok not to be ok – even when you’re pregnant or if you’ve just had a baby. Speak to someone about how you are feeling.And give a gift to your future self!

Neither merry nor bright

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For the myriad of hurting hearts this Christmas.

The Christmas lights were turned off in St George’s Square Glasgow on 24th December 2014 as a mark of respect to those who tragically lost their lives there when a lorry careered into a crowd.

Christmas lights have went out in homes, hearts & lives across the globe- extinguished by loss, grief, terrorism, cancer, suicide.

Anguish has been painfully, indelibly etched on the broadsheet & tabloid pages carrying news from Yemen to Myanmar & everywhere in between & beyond.

This month I’ve sat across a desk from too many people for whom Christmas is not the most wonderful time of year but rather the most difficult, dreaded time of the year.

I’ve stared into eyes brimming with tears for as long as I could bear –

Hearing the deafening silence that trails behind grief.
Sensing the ongoing heartbreak & unimaginable loss.
Feeling the palpable pain of an aching void left behind.

I’ve been reminded of the words from Les Miserables:
‘There’s a grief that can’t be spoken.
There’s a pain goes on and on.
Empty chairs at empty tables
Now my friends are dead and gone.’

For many this Christmas there are empty chairs & places in their homes and hearts.

For them, Christmas accentuates winter of the heart & soul.

Like in Narnia – it seems that it’s always winter & never {truly} Christmas again.

There’s no merry & bright.
No wonderful ,white Christmas.
No magic & sparkle.

Yet, it was into darkness like this- indeed because of darkness like this, that God sent His Son- as Imanuel- God with us.

Jesus, the Word of God, God the Son entered our world as a baby in the manger.

‘The Word became flesh and made his dwelling among us. We have seen his glory, the glory of the one and only Son, who came from the Father, full of grace and truth.'(John 1:14 NIV)

Or as Eugene Petersen paraphrased this verse:
‘The Word became flesh and blood, and moved into the neighborhood.’ (John 1:14 MSG)

I also love the deep truth of this paraphrase:
‘He pitched His tent in the darkness of our valley’
(Geoff Thomas)

God came down to be where we are.

Bringing:
Love to the unloveliness of this fallen planet
Hope in hopelessness
Everlasting light in deep darkness
Comfort to those who mourn
Healing to broken hearts & lives
Freedom to captives bound in sin.

‘Christmas means Jesus came down & got involved in suffering. He hears your cries’
(Tim Keller )

‘When Love came down to earth
And made His home with men,
The hopeless found a hope,
The sinner found a friend.
Not to the powerful
But to the poor He came,
And humble, hungry hearts
Were satisfied again.

What joy, what peace has come to us!
What hope, what help, what love!’
(Stuart Townend)

When you strip away the trimmings & decorations, Santa & the reindeers, the indulgence of over eating & over spending.

When you listen for the still small voice of God,

When you follow the shepherds & the wise men to the stable …

There you’ll find the heart beat of Christmas- Jesus, God the Son- the reason for the season.

At Christmastime, you may find Jesus rejoicing with those who rejoice – at family gatherings & social events.

But I believe you’ll be more likely to find Him mourning with those who mourn, drawing alongside the marginalised, the broken & the needy.

During His time on earth, he was familiar with sorrow. He knew the reality of grief & loss. The shortest verse in the Bible simply states,

‘Jesus wept'(John 11:35)

‘Yes he walked my road, and He felt my pain,
Joys and sorrows that I know so well;’
(From the squalor of a borrowed stable-Stuart Townend)

He knows us. He loves us, & He cares deeply about us. The One who scattered the stars at creation’s dawn is also a Collector of tears:

‘You keep track of all my sorrows. You have collected all my tears in your bottle. You have recorded each one in your book.’
(Psalms 56:8 NLT)

Even through tears, at this time,at the heart of Christmas you’ll find Jesus. In Jesus you’ll find the hope & comfort you desperately need.

He says ‘Come to Me’

This Christmas, Jesus is not lying in a Christmas card stable. He is not sitting at a Pinterest perfect Christmas dinner oblivious to your need. Rather, He’s reaching down & reaching out – to your hurting heart.

He’s waiting for you – to come to Him

Jesus said,“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. (Matthew 11:28 NIV)

He’s asking, “Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.” (Matthew 11:28-30 MSG)

‘While God may not deliver us from pain & suffering, He’ll walk with us through it’ (Tullian Tchvijan- It is finished)

God is with us:

In our pain
In our grief
In our sorrows
In our darkness
In our trials
In our triumphs
In our daily lives

When the lights are switched off at Christmas, only Jesus can colour to our hearts & lives-for He is the great light of the world

‘The people walking in darkness have seen a great light; on those living in the land of deep darkness a light has dawned. ‘(Isaiah 9:2 NIV)

Blessings,

Ruthx

What lies within

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One of the most thought provoking sentences I’ve read this year leapt out of a page of the devotional book my mother-in-love bought me last Christmas:

‘Honest souls know what’s inside of them. They alone can showcase a Saviour’
(Chris Tiegreen )

Someone has wisely said that we need to be honest with ourselves before we can be honest with God.

Honestly, what really lies inside us?

Truthfully, what lies deep inside us is much darker than sugar and spice or even slugs and snails suggested in rhymes.

Augusten Burroughs wrote ‘I myself am made entirely of flaws stitched together with good intentions’

When I look within myself I can clearly see an obvious bias toward selfish ways, bad attitudes & cold indifference. ‘Old fashioned’ sin that is as common as ever.

For the Bible says, ‘For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God’ (Romans 3:23 NIV)

We humans all bear damaged souls & broken beauty. We fall short of what we are created to be .

Built into each of us is tremendous capacity for both good & evil.There’s a mix of fears, failures & faults. The hope of all we long to be versus the truth of who we are (as Casting Crowns aptly put it)

We as humans fall painfully short of our own expectations, let alone God’s.

Paul wrote ‘I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do.'(Romans 7:15 NIV)

‘Sometimes the most impossible person to live with is yourself,’ wrote Ann Voskamp, ‘Our hands are so stained with sin, that even our best works can leave traces of dirty prints’

She echoes words written by a prophet thousands of years ago: ‘All our righteous acts are like filthy rags’ (Isaiah 64:6 NIV)

But the great news is this, that between then & now, at the very crux of history, Jesus came to earth to deal with our dirty rags of sin within:

‘For the grace of God has appeared that offers salvation to all people.’(Titus 2:11 NIV)

‘But because of his great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions—it is by grace you have been saved.’ (Ephesians 2:4-5 NIV)

And,’Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus’ (Romans 8:1 NIV)

If we trust in Jesus, His glorious grace shines within us , dispelling the grip of sin:

‘For God, who said, “Let light shine out of darkness,” made his light shine in our hearts to give us the light of the knowledge of God’s glory displayed in the face of Christ.’
(2 Corinthians 4:6 NIV)

‘In the presence of light you see darkness.
In the presence of power you see weakness.
In the presence of beauty you see ugliness.
In the presence of God you see your need for grace’
(Tim Keller)

And asking for God’s grace within us can totally transform us!

‘We know what we are but not what we may be’ (William Shakespeare)

‘He has saved us and called us to a holy life—not because of anything we have done but because of his own purpose and grace. This grace was given us in Christ Jesus before the beginning of time,’ (2 Timothy 1:9 NIV)

For the amazing truth is that God knows exactly what lies inside us-
& yet He still loves us!
He sees our sin & has sent a Saviour
He sees our problems & our potential
He knows our mistakes & our mission

And because of His grace, our sins are:
Forgiven
Forgotten
Forever

His grace inside us:
redeems our life
releases us from fear
& illuminates our path

When we focus on
the grace & mercy of God the Father poured within our lives,
the sacrificial love of God the Son,
& the light & power of God the Spirit,

Then:
‘What lies behind us & what lies ahead of us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us’ (Ralph Waldo Emerson)

And remember:
‘We’re far worse than we ever imagined, & far more loved than we could ever dream’ (Tim Keller)

‘In your greatest moment you are never more than a sinner who has been embraced by the mercy & love of God & forgiven at the expense of the death of His Son.
In your most broken times you are never less than a daughter of the King, a chosen child of the Father & an inheritor of every blessing in Christ’
(Valerie Murphy -Focusfest 2011)

If you’re like me, you might want to read those quotes again slowly, to inhale the audacious truth, then exhale grateful thanks to our Good, Good Father God.

Amen!

Blessings,

Ruth x

The most wonderful time of the year!

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“It’s the most wonderful time of the year!” Daddy sang as he cleared the table. The Christmas tree looked very pretty in the corner. Little fairy lights twinkled all around the house – even in the kitchen.

Molly sat, with her arms folded, at the table.

“IT’S NOT FAIR!” she said – to everyone who could hear (including the fairy at the top of the tree!). “It’s not fair! Annabel is Mary, Lily-Jane is an angel, and I’m a donkey. A donkey!!”

“Now the donkey had a very important job to do,” said Daddy, patting her head. “The donkey brought Mary to Bethlehem to have little baby Jesus.”

“But being a donkey – it’s just not a very girlie thing to be!”

“The donkey could wear pink lipstick!” Max suggested.

“MAX! Don’t be silly!” Molly said as she ran upstairs.

This was the first year Molly had decorated her own room for Christmas. She even had a little tree in the corner, and paper chains along her window. She opened her bedroom door.

“NO!!” she cried! The little tree had toppled, and the silver reindeer decoration that Great-Aunt Morag had sent in an envelope marked ‘fragile’ was lying minus an antler and one leg in the middle of the floor. She grabbed the silver reindeer and stormed back downstairs. Max was hiding behind Mummy.

“He knocked over my tree and broke my reindeer called Fragile,” Molly explained to Mummy.

“Max?” asked Mummy, turning round behind her.

“Didn’t mean to,” he said, and Mummy believed him – as his eyes were filling with tears. “Sorwee!” he said, and tried to give his sister a great, big hug. Molly was not in a forgiving mood, and did not want a hug. She pushed him away.

Just at that moment the doorbell rang. It was Granny and Granda K. They had arrived to take Molly and Max to see Santa in his cottage.

“Now get your coats on, and be good,” whispered Mummy.

An hour later Molly was singing, “It’s the most wonderful time of the year!” as she walked round Santa’s cottage.

It was amazing! Santa came down the chimney. Molly and Max got to speak to him for ages as he sat by the fire. He asked what they would like, told them to leave a carrot for Rudolph and warned them not to fight!

“He’s the real Santa!” Molly said to Granny K, as they walked out the door. The children’s eyes grew wide as saucers. All around were fairy lights, and far above were twinkling stars and a full moon beaming down onto the magical cottage. A little elf called Lazy-Bones was feeding four white geese by the pond. Beside the pond was Rudolph and Santa’s sleigh. Rudolph’s nose wasn’t red, as it wasn’t cold enough yet.

Lazy-Bones said “Goodnight,” as they walked round the corner towards a wishing well.

“You have elf ears!” Max whispered out of the blue to Molly.

“I don’t!” Molly glared at him.

“What are you going to wish for?” Granda K asked as they stood by the Wishing Well.

“Keep your wish secret and it’ll come true!” said Granny K.

Molly had no problem deciding what to wish for. She looked at Max who had called her Elf Ears again. She closed her eyes and concentrated hard.

“I wish I didn’t have a brother. I wish Max would disappear!” she thought. She was rather disappointed when she opened her eyes and discovered he was still there!

The sleepy shepherd

“Why do the days in December seem the longest of all?” thought Molly.

It felt like Christmas was NEVER going to come! Molly thought she was going to explode!

She couldn’t believe that morning when she went to open the advent calendar and discovered that it said ‘23’ on the little door. Just two more sleeps to go until the BIG day!

The 23rd was a Sunday. Mummy noticed Max had a bit of a cough as they drove to church. Max didn’t notice his cough! He was so excited about being a shepherd that he insisted on putting on his dressing gown, and a tea towel on his head, kept together by Daddy’s tie. He had also insisted that he didn’t want to bring a cuddly sheep, but Dino, his big cuddly dinosaur instead!

Molly was delighted that she was an angel in this Nativity play. Though being a donkey in the school play hadn’t been as bad as she thought it was going to be! She enjoyed being the centre of attention when the choir sang ‘Little Donkey’ and Mrs Mac made coconut halves sound like donkey hooves! In fact she even met a new friend at the manger – a little boy in Primary 1 called Sam, who was a sheep.

Today, Molly looked so angelic at the front of church in her silver foil wings and tinsel halo. There were several shepherds – but Max was the only one with a dinosaur! The children said their lines and sang their songs beautifully. They even blew candles out on top of a huge birthday cake, to remind everyone in the audience that Christmas is Jesus’ birthday.

To finish, everyone in the church sang ‘Silent Night’ together. After Pastor Dee closed the service with a prayer, the only sound that could be heard was the sound of gentle snoring, from beside the manger. One little shepherd was sleeping. The sleepy little shepherd was fast asleep, curled up, clutching Dino.

The rest of the day went surprisingly fast and soon it was bedtime.

Max was coughing and coughing in his room across the hall. Mummy was with him, giving him ‘magic puffers’ (as he called his inhalers) to take away his ‘wheezes’. Dino got some magic puffers too!

Molly soon fell fast asleep, looking even more angelic than she had earlier that day. She was dreaming of the next day – Christmas Eve – the most magical day of the year!

Max disappears

Next morning Molly jumped out of bed! She was SO excited! She flung open her curtains – the fields were all sparkling. Jack Frost had visited leaving a silvery trail!

She would go and waken Max, and together they could go and open the final door in the calendar. The door that said ‘24’ was bigger than the rest! And Christmas was the only time of the year that they were allowed to eat chocolate before breakfast!

But Max’s bed was empty. When she went into Mummy and Daddy’s room, no one was there either. Max wasn’t watching TV in the living room. The whole house seemed strangely quiet. Molly’s heart was pounding, as she went into the kitchen, where she found Daddy having a coffee, alone. Her eyes grew wide, then filled with tears.

“I made a wish that Max would disappear,” she sobbed. “And it’s come true.”

Daddy looked bemused, as he gave her a big hug and explained. “Mummy had to take Max up to the hospital last night. His wheezes were too bad.”

That news made Molly sob even louder.

“He’ll be OK honey, but I’ve just had a text from Mummy to say he’ll be in hospital today and tonight too.”

Molly’s mind processed the information, while she continued to sob. “But … But … it can’t be Christmas without Max. Santa can’t come when Max isn’t here,” she cried. “Can you phone Santa and ask him to come to our house, to Lilac Cottage, when Max is better?”

“Well maybe someone at the Cottage where you visited Santa would be able to get in touch with him,” suggested Daddy.

“Could you phone them now please, so they can catch Santa before he starts loading the sleigh?” asked Molly.

“OK – but can you eat some toast while I try to sort that out?” asked Daddy as he set an extra buttery slice of toast in front of her. She took a tiny, tiny bite and tried to stop sobbing. Max would be OK, because Daddy had said so. And she knew that Daddy would be able to sort Christmas out – even if there was a huge task like asking Santa to come to their house on the night after Christmas Eve!

The rest of the day, Daddy and Molly were very busy, collecting the turkey, buying brussel sprouts and Shloer to drink. Molly helped him wrap presents for Mummy. She wondered what Christmas presents she would get and what surprises Santa would bring.

But the best Christmas present that Molly got on Christmas Day was getting Max home, just before dinnertime! She gave Max the biggest hug ever.

That night they sprinkled reindeer food on the doorstep of Lilac Cottage. And just as Molly had suggested, Santa came back, after travelling across the globe, and visited their house twenty-four hours after the rest of the planet!

From A Year with Molly & Max
by Ruth Coulter
Illustrations by Blair Bailie

Story-telling in the Land of Smiles

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Twenty years ago I  spent a summer in Thailand for my medical elective in Manorom Christian Hospital in Central Thailand with Overseas Missionary Fellowship (OMF) I was inspired by the inspirational skill & devotion of the doctors serving God there. I also have happy memories of  running along paddy fields, visiting markets, eating tropical fruit, & of the warm hospitality of missionaries. This country captured my heart & for a significant time I believed I would be back there as a medical missionary.

In April 2017 it was eventually possible for me to return to Thailand again. I’d been in Singapore & I had the opportunity to visit Thailand just for the weekend.

It was a short visit just after Thai New Year. Just after Songkran- the national water festival. Just after a week of challenge, education & encouragement at OMF headquarters.

Just a weekend, but it was long enough to see spirit houses & temples – a reminder that ‘To be Thai is to be Buddhist’

Long enough to see beautiful Thai smiles & hear ‘sawadee ka‘ (‘Hello’)

Long enough to hear what love sounds like at House of Grace orphanage.

Long enough to feel the tropical sun in the hot season & the sand beneath my feet as I walked along Crystal Beach.

Long enough to recognise how stressed I had been & to sense the blessing of this weekend that was just what I needed.

And most importantly, long enough to hear Alan & Maelynn’s story- a story of following God’s call across the globe in the days when travelling to Thailand meant embarking on a three week journey to Asia by boat!

They married in South Thailand & worked as missionaries there. Soon Alan & Maelynn had 5 children under 4 ( including 2 sets of twins!)

There followed years of ministry in South Thailand & Bangkok. Then on World AIDS Day in December 1990, God challenged them about the 300,000 Thai infected with HIV. In 1992 ,Aids Care Education & Training ( ACET) Thailand was born- an opportunity to show God’s love in action.

Now in their late 70s, retirement isn’t really on their agenda. As long as they remain healthy, & there’s work to do- they’ll remain here in Thailand.

I listened to a chapter of their story in their home nestling among banana & papaya trees near Chantaburi. I thought about how stories have been described as social glue- the substance that binds humanity together. I was also deeply challenged by the fact that Alan & Maelynn’s  story was actually all about telling His story

Just the week before in Singapore I’d sang ‘May our lives tell your story’

(from Shine on me by Graham Kendrick)

What a prayer: May our lives tell your story!

Eugene Peterson wrote an article ‘Living into God’s story’:

‘The Bible is basically and overall a narrative, an immense, sprawling, capacious narrative. Stories hold pride of place in revealing God and God’s way to us.’

God’s story contains the overarching themes of His faithfulness, redemption, sovereignty , eternal love, deep mercy & amazing grace.

His story is eternal:

“Yet God has made everything beautiful for its own time. He has planted eternity in the human heart, but even so, people cannot see the whole scope of God’s work from beginning to end.”
(Ecclesiastes 3:11 NLT)

His story involves:

*Blessing

‘Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in the heavenly realms with every spiritual blessing in Christ. For he chose us in him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in his sight.’
(Ephesians 1:3-4 NIV)

*Saving

‘But when the kindness and love of God our Saviour appeared, he saved us, not because of righteous things we had done, but because of his mercy. He saved us through the washing of rebirth and renewal by the Holy Spirit,’
(Titus 3:4-5 NIV)

*Calling

‘He has saved us and called us to a holy life—not because of anything we have done but because of his own purpose and grace. This grace was given us in Christ Jesus before the beginning of time.’
(2 Timothy 1:9 NIV)

*Encouraging

‘May our Lord Jesus Christ himself and God our Father, who loved us and by his grace gave us eternal encouragement and good hope, encourage your hearts and strengthen you in every good deed and word.’
(2 Thessalonians 2:16-17 NIV)

Yes, may our lives tell His story.

After all, He is the Author of life, the healer of hearts & the Saviour of souls.

‘God rewrote the text of my life when I opened the book of my heart to his eyes.’
(Psalm 18:24 MSG)

‘None of us is the leading character in the story of our lives. God is the larger context and plot in which all our stories find themselves.’
(Eugene Petersen)

‘Lord write your story on the pages of  my life that I may bring glory to You’
(Leah Dipascal)

‘Lord, you are my God; I will exalt you and praise your name, for in perfect faithfulness you have done wonderful things, things planned long ago.’
(Isaiah 25:1 NIV)

‘Generation after generation stands in awe of your work; each one tells stories of your mighty acts.’
(Psalm 145:4 MSG)

Blessings,

Ruth x

The sound of love at House of Grace

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In April 2016 I was 6200 miles away from home in a country close to my heart. I was visiting Chantaburi in Thailand -150 miles from Bangkok toward Cambodia.  This verdant area grows infamous durian fruit- banned in some public transport yet exported throughout Asia. Nestled near  banana groves lies the home that grace built- designed to give hope for children affected by AIDS. At the House of Grace Pastor Kitisak & his wife Jariya are parents to  68 children aged 4 to twentysomething.

The story began in 1995 when Pastor Kitisak & his wife Jariya were asked to look after 2 children affected by AIDS. Rejection of children with HIV or whose parents have died of AIDS is sadly common. It’s not always possible to look after them in their local  communities. So, gradually the number of children entrusted to Pastor Kitisak & Jariya’s care  increased.

Initially they moved to live in an old school but soon they had a vision for purpose built facility for these children affected by HIV . In 2006 building started & one little boy in the home named Toto was the first donor – giving 15 baht.

Last year , I had the privilege of visiting Alan & Maelynn Ellard who work with ACET Thailand at House of Grace.

As I walked upstairs into the sunny green room where House of Grace church meets, names & photos from prayer letters became live in 3D!

‘Love can be spoken in any language, though it may sound a little different.’

I had read  these words on the plane- in a blog written by Luke- Rob’s cousin’s husband.

So, what did love sound like at House of Grace?

Love sounded like children praising God wholeheartedly . One of the little girls had been very ill & needed hospital treatment. Watching her sing brought tears to my eyes.Listening to the older children leading worship was so encouraging.

Love was Pastor Kitisak exhorting the older children at Bible class  from God’s words in Proverbs 4:4:

‘Take hold of my words with all your heart; keep my commands, and you will live.’

Love sounded like happy chatter  in the dining room as Jariya served food to the children after church.

Love was the excited sound of three little boys playing cars with Alan after lunch.

The week after I got home  Alan & Maelynn sent some photos. As I scrolled through the digital photo album, I caught glimpses of what  love looks like at House of Grace:

*Playing after school

*Having fun at camp at the beach

*Praying over a grown child as they start the next chapter

*Celebrating Christmas together

*Baptising a teenager in the sea

There was a photo of a plaque inscribed with words from 1 Samuel 7:12 :

‘Then Samuel took a stone and set it up between Mizpah and Shen. He named it Ebenezer, saying, “Thus far the Lord has helped us.”’

God has helped so far. He has been faithful . One powerpoint slide stated that they had never had to buy a grain of rice as God had provided for their needs.

House of Grace brings hope- the chance to belong in a family & for the children to find true life in trusting God.

Jesus said:
“I came so they can have real and eternal life, more and better life than they ever dreamed of.”
(John 10:10 MSG)

‘Now this is eternal life: that they know you, the only true God, and Jesus Christ, whom you have sent.’
(John 17:3 NIV)

Please pray for Pastor Kitisak & Jariya as they show grace & love to the children, & look after them physically,emotionally & spiritually.

‘Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.’
(James 1:27)

Find out more information from ACET Thailand

Blessings,

Ruth x

‘Tis the season…to make room

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December starts with good intentions of organization & calm & cards posted on time. Yet as the month rolls on, it gains momentum like a giant snowball gathering more & more festive events & shopping.

I can identify with Bilbo Baggins who said, “I feel thin, sort of stretched, like butter scraped over too much bread.” (J.R.R. Tolkien, The Fellowship of the Ring)

Someone wise once said ‘Rest before you are tired’ And the Wisest of All created rest in the beginning.

We need to create margin, or white space as we approach this time of the year. Our diaries may be jam-packed already, but:

‘Its in the white space- the in between moments of stillness- where the joy of Christmas is found’
(Rebecca Cooper)

‘White space is where the magic happens’
(no sidebar)

‘The quieter you become the more you can hear’ (Ram Dass)

In the middle of the mayhem & busyness attributed to Christmas celebrations, the  sound of silence can be deafening. Last month’s minute of silence on Remembrance Day felt much longer than  sixty seconds.

‘There are times when solitude is better than society, and silence is wiser than speech.’
(Charles Spurgeon)

Even in this season,‘We must also identify what gives us life, what recharges us and restores our capacity.’(Alli Worthington -Breaking Busy)

In the quiet, we can connect with God. We can make room to  marvel & wonder at the miracle of Christmas, that God is with us – Imanuel

How can we make room for God this Christmas?

*Read

In December I set aside my usual reading plan & start off each day reading from an Advent book

This year I’m reading The One True Gift by Tim Chester. Last year I read The One True Light by the same author.

The year before I read The Time is Now by Amy Orr-Ewing

*Pray

We can pray for our family,community & our broken world.

I love these little books to help us pray using God’s Words:

5 things to pray-
For those you love
For your church
For your world

*Listen

Listen to Christmas music.  I love traditional carols blended with contemporary worship:

A Christmas Offering-Casting Crowns
Adore– Chris Tomlin
A Hallelujah Christmas – Cloverton
How many kings-Downhere

*Explore

Wrap up warm & escape into the great outdoors to  breathe deeply, clear your mind,  & star gaze.  Creation is the ultimate whitespace- the best way to unplug  from the un-necessary & connect with the One who made it all!

Each day we have choices to make:

‘Each of us is an inn keeper who decides if there is room for Jesus’
(Neal Maxwell)

‘Let every heart prepare Him room’
(Joy to the world)

Blessings,

Ruth x