Tag: story

For the troubled soul

curlysue028

The days feels longer & bleaker than usual -the weather, the viruses, getting through the art & science of medicine. Hearing others’ bad news on Facebook, in work,in church, on the news.

We know that nobody said it’d be easy- but sometimes life feels just too hard,doesn’t it?

“Life is hard, but good,” said one of the speakers at an OMF afternoon. I knew what she meant- hard in the same way climbing a mountain is difficult but enjoying the stunning view at the top makes everything feel good.

It tied in to the audiobook I’d been listening to en route- Shauna Niequist’s book Bittersweet -reflections on the intermingling of bitterness & sweetness, heartbreak & hope in life.

I woke up early yesterday thinking about suffering & sadness , healing & hope. This deep subject was in my pre-caffeinated mind as it spilled over from a tangent discussed at the ladies Bible study the night before.

But how can we ever begin understand the complex interplay of faith & prayer, healing & medicine& the rainbow of the sovereignty of God overarching it all?

Sometimes, in tough times we need verses with promises like Romans 8:28 read out loud & clear. Sometimes we need our reality to be validated, someone to draw alongside us with few words, & fewer answers.

“Life sucks sometimes,” was one of the most helpful empathetic statements our former Pastor spoke to Rob in our darkest chapters.

In the difficult times, it can be hard to stay positive & faith-filled.Life can hurt deeply. When our soul aches,it’s ok to trust yet doubt, to hope yet hurt. And it’s OK to go to God with our questions & frustrations.He knows our thoughts before we speak them. He knows our limitations:

We see tangled threads rather than the finished tapestry.
We see the messy middle rather than the finished masterpiece.

And we can’t make sense of it- any more than clay can comprehend the potter.
We can’t see the big picture.
The unseen.
The invisible.

Yet,
‘Each strand of sorrow has a place 
Within this tapestry of grace’
(Getty Music-The Perfect wisdom of our God)

On Sunday morning I was reading about what Celtic Mystics described as thin places. Places where heaven almost touches earth, & God meets with us. I was thinking more of moments rather than physical places- where the almost palpable presence of God touches our troubled souls.

We can experience the presence of God in the breath-taking wonder of His stunning creation.

Our quiet times can be thin places when we read with the Author.

God connects with my daily life when I truly pray. Often it’s the depth rather than the length of my prayers that matters.

Thin places also occur when we feel stretched & overwhelmed, when we experience heart-wrenching pain that comes from being as broken as this planet we live on.

‘God whispers to us in our pleasures, speaks in our conscience but shouts in our pain: it is His megaphone to rouse a deaf world’
(CS Lewis-the problem of pain)

In the thin places, our God offers peace to our troubled souls 
‘He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.’
(Psalm 147:3 NIV)

Jesus said, “In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”
(John 16:33 NIV)

We don’t have to understand.
We don’t have answers but we do have our Saviour’s presence- through it all.

Life is hard but God is always faithful & always there

‘God withholds in His wisdom what He could provide by His power. I don’t know why He does it, but I’m thankful I don’t have to’
(Dr Larry Crabb – quoted by Emily P Freeman in A Million Little Ways)

‘We commit ourselves to Him, yes; but far more important, He has committed Himself to us, & what He takes He holds,& what He holds He moulds, & what He moulds He uses’
(Norman Grubb, The Spontaneous You)

I love that image- the Potter is holding & moulding.

Even when we feel like we’re free falling & life is reeling out of control, we are held- in His hands, & He never lets go.

In this journey we call life,
‘Instead of a map, our Father offers his hand.’
(Emily P Freeman)

….’and when you can’t see His hand trust His heart’ (Anon)

Blessings,

Ruth x

PS You may also like:

Trust -choosing to see the invisible

* Edited & updated- originally posted @ www.blessedme.co.uk

Just trust- choosing to see the invisible 

curlysue028

Rob & I attended a friend’s wedding on 19th July. It was a beautiful sunny day- just like our own wedding day on the same day- now over twenty years ago!

I reminisced & listened misty-eyed to Pachelbel’s Canon & to the poetic vows, promises made to stand by each other & remain true-no matter what:
For richer or poorer 
For better or worse
In sickness & health

Twenty years on, we are very happily married. But looking back over the years, there have been both the best & worst of times. There has been sickness & health. There have been a complete spectrum of stresses, and even bright sunny days can be overcast by boulders carried in our hearts.

And we are not alone in life-experiences! Indeed if we all threw our troubles up in the air ,we would probably be glad if we caught our own again!

I believe that ‘the Universe is made up of stories, not of atoms’ (Muriel Rukeyser) And over the course of time, the story of our life together has mingled with the stories of those we go through life with- family, friends, colleagues, our wider social circle & friends of friends. We hear their stories over cosy cups of coffee, via social media & prayer bulletins. The stories criss-cross with our own, & intertwine together, to form part of a bigger story that we call everyday life.

So many of these true stories are sadder than fiction:
sudden deaths & tragic accidents
babies dying before they are born, 
diagnoses that are beyond chemotherapy & modern medicine,
teenagers taking their own lives,
alcohol & drugs,
debt & stress,
mental illness,
divorce.

In the middle of difficulties, when our head is swirling, we need to focus on a still, unchanging point in our reeling world. In the ever-changing vista of the kaleidoscope of life, when life feels like its spinning out of control, we need to focus on God- the One who keeps galaxies in orbit. 

We need to be still & see with the eyes of faith 
‘ Open your eyes and see how good God is. Blessed are you who run to him.’
(Psalm 34:8 MSG)

We can have the eyes of our heart wide-open to the invisible:
‘Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see. ‘(Hebrews 11:1 NIV)

In the hard, hurting pages in the dark chapter of life, it can be hard to ‘see’ God, the Author of our life-but God is at work in our stories 

Even when we can’t see God’s hand, we can trust His heart. He is behind the scenes:
‘So we’re not giving up. How could we! Even though on the outside it often looks like things are falling apart on us, on the inside, where God is making new life, not a day goes by without his unfolding grace…There’s far more here than meets the eye. The things we see now are here today, gone tomorrow. But the things we can’t see now will last forever. ‘(2 Corinthians 4:16-18 MSG)

God can mend tattered hearts & broken dreams. He can  put the fragile, broken pieces back together again- the way they were always meant to fit together-like a brilliant craftsman forming his masterpiece.

There are things we just can’t see at the moment, but our invisible God is at work

‘So keep a firm grip on the faith. The suffering won’t last forever. It won’t be long before this generous God who has great plans for us in Christ—eternal and glorious plans they are! will have you put together and on your feet for good. He gets the last word; yes, he does.’
(1 Peter 5:10 MSG)

I was listening to an audio-version of Kay Warren’s book ‘Choose joy for happiness isn’t enough’ earlier this year. Her words feel even more poignant since the shocking news that her son committed suicide. In the book, Kay describes joy & sorrow like parallel tracks on the railway of life.

I too am convinced that joy & sorrow, love & suffering, peace & pain are inextricably linked –but in an even more intricate way than parallel tracks. Perhaps, they are intertwined like the twisting double stranded helix molecule of DNA – the blue print of life itself. Just as DNA is held together by hydrogen bonds, the twists & turns in life are stabilised by intricate bonds of the love & mercy, grace & goodness of God.

Just now, in this moment of time, our lives may seem like a tangled mess- but with the eye of faith, we can choose to see that even the troubles & trials, stresses & strains, the bitter & sweet are part of the intricate plans of the perfect infinite wisdom of our God.

Our God created the cosmos, designed our souls & planned our destinies. Yet He carries our burdens and collects our tears:
‘You have taken account of my wanderings; Put my tears in Your bottle. Are they not in your book?’
(Psalms 56:8NASB)

‘You’ve kept track of my every toss and turn through the sleepless nights, Each tear entered in your ledger, each ache written in your book.’ (Psalm 56:8 MSG)

We have to choose to see the unseen-to trace the invisible fingerprints of God in our lives, as He weaves His thread of blessings through the twisting helix of life. He alone can weave all things together for our good (Romans 8:28) into the plans He has for us (Jeremiah 29:11)

Even when things don’t seem to make sense, & everything seems random & chaotic , we can praise Him where we are at- ‘in the storm- even when our hearts are torn’ (Casting crowns) 

We can offer a ‘Broken hallelujah’ (Mandisa) & exclaim “Blessed be the name of the Lord”

We can proclaim:
‘This is not how it should be,
This is not how it could be,
This is how it is,
And our God is in control

This is not how it will be,
When we finally will see
We’ll see with our own eyes
He was always in control

This is not where we planned to be
When we started this journey
But this is where we are
And our God is in control’
(Steven Curtis Chapman)

As we open wide the eyes of our heart in faith, we will fall upwards into the arms of our Almighty Father God.

There we can whisper:
‘I know now Lord why you utter no answer. You yourself are the answer’ (C S Lewis)

And He promises:
“I’ll convert their weeping into laughter, 
lavishing comfort,
invading their grief with joy.”
(Jeremiah 31:13 MSG)

May this be our prayer:
‘O grant me wisdom from above, 
To pray for peace and cling to love, 
And teach me humbly to receive 
The sun and rain of Your sovereignty. 

Each strand of sorrow has a place 
Within this tapestry of grace; 
So through the trials I choose to say: 
“Your perfect will in Your perfect way ‘
(Stuart Townend)

But for now,
                Just trust

Blessings,

Ruth x

*Edited from post originally published @ www.blessedme.co.uk

Life as a fairytale

curlysue028

As I started thinking about my story, I felt that God wanted us to think about the whole concept of life as a story & how our lives are part of His great story.
This is not an original thought:
Max Lucado has launched a book entitled ‘God’s story, your story’

John Eldredge wrote another book ‘Epic-the story God is telling’

These books explore the concept of how our story intersects with God’s grand epic of everlasting redemption. They look at how this narrative we call life- from time to eternity, reveals God & His ways.

It’s not a new idea. In the 1800s Hans Christian Andersen wrote:

‘Every person’s life is a fairytale written by God’s fingers’

I’m sure some of you are thinking, “My life is definitely not a fairytale!”
But think about it, fairytales aren’t all sweetness & light & ‘happily ever after’ For every damsel in distress, & prince that’s trying to save her, there are witches, dragons, wolves & allsorts of darkness lurking!

Hans Christian Andersen’s Little Mermaid- had to deal with a Sea Witch stealing her voice & adapt to life on two legs on dry land when her heart belonged in the sea! While Cinderella had ugly stepsisters, never-ending housework, midnight deadlines & lost slippers!
Fairytales begin traditionally with ‘Once upon a time’-whereas life’s story started with ‘In the beginning, God’ (Gen 1:1) God is before the beginning, & after the ending! He is the Author of life.
David the Psalmist wrote ‘You saw me before I was born. Every day of my life was recorded in your book. Every moment was laid out before a single day had passed’ (Psalm 139:16)

Life’s story is of course true & real, fact-not fiction. Our story may at times seem simple, yet at other times be hard to tell. Words of wonder & happiness are interspersed with words of challenge & grief.

Our real story begins, when we truly start living, when we trust Jesus as Saviour- for He says in John 10:10 ‘I came so they can have real & eternal life, more & better life than they ever dreamed of’ (MSG)
If you don’t know Jesus, the Bible says that you haven’t started truly living yet- Ephesians 1:11 says ‘It’s in Christ that we find out who we are & what we are living for’ (MSG)

My story

I have to say the start of my story was quite like a fairy tale- I became a Christian aged 14 at an Easter youth weekend. I went to Dundee to study medicine- & met my ‘Prince Charming’ Rob there. And of course I also met my own real life fairy-godmother!
Rob & I married in 1997, one week after graduation. We both got work over here & settled down the Ards Peninsula. We had our daughter Caris in 2001 & I can remember feeling like our whole world had turned pink! Pink teddies, flowers, balloons, clothes surrounded our baby girl! (Now a teenager, Caris would say that I overdosed her in pink!) 
In summer 2002 we went to Lake Orta, North Italy for our holidays. ‘Ciao bella bambina!’ the Italians called to our blue eyed blonde haired toddler. At the time, I was 6 months pregnant, & felt very happy & blessed!
It’s just as well I couldn’t read the next chapters of our story at that time!
Ethan was born in Nov 2002. His birth was straightforward- but there was an eruption of stress in the days before his birth. I didn’t sleep at all in the days before or after delivery. My mind was on over-drive filled with crazy, racing thoughts. After a week I was diagnosed with postnatal  psychosis- the most severe form of postnatal mental illness. Rob was looking after me, a new born baby, a 1 yr 9month old toddler, & working fulltime! 

I would have been admitted at that time, but instead we moved in with ‘Grannie Annie’ my Fairy Godmother for a few weeks & she looked after us all (& continued to work!) My sisters-in-law Sharon & Linda were both at home at that time, & they even had a rota for bottle-feeding Ethan through the night.

Medication meant that the racing thoughts subsided relatively quickly, but months of depression followed. Chances are, statistically speaking, that more than a few of you reading thiswill know what I mean- when I talk of days of living in black & white rather than colour. Days of existing without truly living. Doing life with the joy squeezed out of it. Having ‘eyes without sparkle’ as one writer put it.

I went back to work in May- on hindsight much too early. Before long, I had symptoms of anxiety. I’m sure some of you can identify with heart-racing, sleep robbing anxiety (& I didn’t even have any thing to worry about!)

My story hit rock bottom on 16th June 2003- my 29th birthday.

For 16th June 2003 was my worst birthday, in fact it was the worst day of my life so far.
On that day, I was admitted to Knockbracken– a psychiatric hospital. At that stage, I had been struggling with severe mental illness for seven months. I was anxious, depressed and even suicidal. I felt so alone. Rob was at home with our two small children, trying to explain,“Mummy’s gone to hospital because she’s lost her smile.” Most of the family were away in America at Sharon’s wedding. I felt so low as I looked around the grey walls of the ward, wondering how I was ever going to get out of this place. For the first time in my life I felt abandoned by God. The words “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?” echoed through my mixed up mind.

Yet even in this deeply dark time, God’s still small voice reminded me that Jesus knew how I was feeling. For on the cross, the cry from Jesus’ anguished heart was “Eloi, Eloi, lama sabachthani?” which means “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?” (Matthew 27:46) On the cross, to a much greater extent than we will ever know, Jesus felt abandoned by His Father God as He took on the sins of the world. And at that time, in the middle of my deep depression, I could take comfort from the fact that Jesus understood, that He could sympathise with my weaknesses (Hebrews 4:15)

I spent that summer in hospital in Ards. Slowly over the months with help from family, friends & my psychiatrist & of course God, I felt that I was recovering. Then, just when things were becoming ‘normal’, my mood went very high, & I was admitted for another 2 months- another summer.

Dark Chapters

I consider those times as dark, difficult chapters in my life’s story. Obviously not everyone will go through severe mental illness- but all of us have difficulties & times of awfulness. 
The relative calmness of our normal everyday life can become instantly stormy-by just one phone call, letter or doctor’s appointment.

The dark chapters in your story may include illness, eating disorders, loss, divorce, cancer, death, unspeakable betrayal. 

Perhaps no-one else has read the dark chapters of your life. Others may know your name, but not your story. Others may know what you’ve done, but not necessarily what you’ve been through. But God knows all about it-after all He IS the Author of life.

In these dark chapters, remember:

You are not alone & this is not the end of your story!

No matter how hard life gets, no matter how down we feel, no matter how much we feel on our own, we are never alone. God is there with us – in the middle of our troubles, heartache and despair.
 ‘If you are heart is broken, you’ll find God right there’ Psalm 34:18 (MSG)

Nothing can separate us from God’s love.
Life can’t. 

Death can’t. 

Sickness can’t. 

Cancer can’t. 

Depression can’t. 

Insanity can’t.

Throughout the storms of life, we are held by God- firm in His unshakable grip. 

No matter what may happen, He’ll never let go of our hand!
God’s love reaches down to where we are, wherever that may be.

Those hands that created the universe, that carved wood, those hands with the nail prints are holding us.

There are some things that can only be learnt in the middle of difficulties. When our backs are to the wall, we tend to fall to our knees. Our heart cries out to God and He hears us. There are treasures of darkness – times of feeling God close against the odds – character building, spiritually defining times.
Chesterton wrote: ‘Fairy tales are more than true, not because they tell us that dragons exist, but because they tell us that dragons can be beaten’ 

With God’s help & strength, we CAN defeat our dragons-whatever those dragons may be.

God says in Isaiah 43:2,3(MSG):

‘When you’re in over your head, I’ll be there with you.
When you’re in rough waters, you will not go down.

When you’re between a rock & a hard place,

It won’t be a dead end-

Because I am God, your personal God,

The Holy One of Israel, your Saviour.’
Why?

Often, the dark chapters of life are followed by a very long chapter entitled, ‘Why?’

‘Why?’ –a short word that can contain vast amounts of pain & hurt.

Many times, especially during my second admission, I asked “Why? Why me? Why again?”
I’m sure many of you have asked “Why?”

During my second summer in hospital, I read a book by Sheila Walsh entitled ‘Life is tough, but God is faithful’ Even the title speaks volumes- life IS tough (no-one ever said it’d be easy)- but God IS faithful.
In the book Sheila Walsh retells the story of Job.

For 37 chapters Job & his friends discuss & debate. Then eventually, in chapter 38, God speaks out of the storm:
‘Were you there when I laid the earth’s foundations?
Have you ever commanded the morning to appear?

Where does the darkness go to?

Can you guide constellations of stars across the heavens?

Can you shout to the clouds & make it rain?

Can you show the lightning where to strike?’
These rhetorical questions prove that God is so much bigger & higher than us.

I don’t actually think God minds us asking “Why?” He is big enough to deal with our questions.
Yet, in most instances, I don’t think that knowing why would help us or make things easier to deal with.
The conclusion of the book of Job (& Sheila Walsh’s book) is:
Knowing God is better than knowing the answers

But, although God is higher than us, He is not remote & removed from our suffering. He is Imanuel- God with us.
For months after I was discharged from hospital the second (hopefully final!) time, I felt so hurt by God. I wondered what He was doing with my life, what His plans for me were.

One Sunday morning during the ‘Why?’ chapter we went to a friend’s church-Woodlands. During the praise time we sang ‘Who can sound the depths of sorrow in the Father-heart of God?’ That phrase ‘the Father-heart of God’ struck a chord with me. I realised that God is our Father- the Perfect Father. Just as we are upset when our children are hurting, or sick- so God cares deeply when we, His children suffer. 

Knowing our Father God is better than knowing the answers. In our darkest hours, he is not remote & removed looking down from afar off in heaven, He is God with us, carrying us through in his everlasting arms.

When life hurts, when it feels that life as we know it has been pulled from beneath us and we are free-falling, helplessly, we are held, and He’ll never let us go. Like the footprints poem reminds us, in our darkest hour, when there is just one set of footprints in the sand, we are not alone, God is carrying us.

‘Like a shepherd, he will care for his flock, gathering the lambs in his arms, hugging them as he carries them’ Isaiah 40:11(MSG)
The God of all comfort, comforts His weary, hurting children.

Stop re-reading



Sometimes, in life, we keep on re-reading the dark chapters, & the “Why?” chapters. But, you can’t start the next chapter of your life if you keep re-reading the last one.
Isaiah 43:18 (MSG) has been very relevant for me recently: ‘Forget about what’s happened, don’t keep going over old history. Be alert, be present. I’m about to do something brand-new’
So, stop re-reading previous pages! 

‘Move on. It’s just a chapter in the past but don’t close the book. Just turn the page’

Other people’s stories



Sometimes, too we miss the new chapter because we’re too busy trying to read someone else’s story. Their story seems so much better & much more exciting than our own! Maybe it has a glossier cover & seems easier to read! But if we could truly read their story, they’re probably fighting their own dragons too- dragons that we certainly wouldn’t want to face!

Ripping out the pages

Sometimes we feel so upset & hurt that we wish we could just rip out all the pages of the hard heartbreaking chapters in life.

I read this in Streams in The Desert recently:
‘Sorrow causes deep scars, & indelibly writes its story on our suffering heart. We never completely recover from our greatest griefs and are never exactly the same after having passed through them’ (JR Miller) 

Yet, God the Author of life, is such a skilful writer, that he can create vividness & brightness in subsequent chapters, arising out of dark words. He can make our story beautiful in its time. Indeed, after some time & reflection, we may be able to trace His fingerprints even the dark chapters of our story.

‘Sorrows come to stretch out spaces in the heart for joy’ (Streams in the Desert)

It’s probably easier to identify with the sentiments of the first two words than the rest of the sentence. ‘Sorrows come’ –sorrows do come- & sometimes it doesn’t seem too long since the last dark chapter-too soon for another one!

Sorrows came unexpectedly for us at the end of a sunny care-free day on 11th July last summer. One phone-call changed the course of the rest of 2011. The words of this song ‘Blessings’ by Laura Story became an anthem for me:

‘What if your blessings come through raindrops?                                                                                 What if your healing comes through tears?                                                                                          What if a thousand sleepless nights are what it takes to know you’re near?                                What if the trials of this life are your mercies in disguise?’

These words are written from experience of dark chapters. Laura Story (who also wrote ‘Indescribable’) was dealing with her young husband’s diagnosis of a brain tumour.
God’s story

I should have said this at the outset. But in case you hadn’t realised, in our story, we are NOT the main character. God is!

Ultimately, it’s His story!

‘There is an invisible God at work in our ordinary lives to achieve extraordinary things. Our story is part of a bigger story. God is not just at work in our story. He is putting ours to work in His story-for His glory’ (A Roycroft)
The future

So what about the rest of the story?

We do not need to be afraid of the futureor the next chapter- for God has already written it & He is already there! 

And He will be with us from the deepest depths to the highest heights of our story. (Isaiah7:10)
[Not] The End

When I’m reading a book, I often wonder how the story ends & I’ll flick to the last page before I even start. (Often it spoils it!) I never read the Chronicles of Narnia as a child, but over the last year or two I’ve read them with Caris & Ethan. Last week I ordered the last book entitled ‘The Last Battle’ I flicked to the last page. I was so happy to read familiar words from C S Lewis. These words t give me goose bumps every time I read them. This is the last paragraph & the conclusion of the epic seven book adventures in Narnia & also a lovely picture of the end of our story:

‘And as He [Aslan] spoke, He no longer looked to them like a lion; but the things that began to happen after that were so great and beautiful that I cannot write them. And for us this is the end of all the stories, and we can most truly say that they all lived happily ever after. But for them it was the beginning of the real story. All their life in this world, and all their adventures in Narnia had only been the cover and the title page: now at last they were beginning Chapter One of the Great Story which no-one on earth has read: which goes on forever: in which every chapter is better than the one before’ 

If we know the Author of life, as our God & Father, we have this sure hope- of the ultimate happy ending, in fact more accurately a happy never ending! All our life in this world, is like the title & cover page of the Great Story that no-one on earth has read!

The dragons of death, illness, sin will be forever defeated. Tears will be wiped away forever. All things with be worked together for good. And we will be forever with God, the Author of life and eternity.

So, whatever page you are on just now, remember, you are NOT alone- & this is NOT the end of your story!

Remember, whatever chapter you are at just now,

You are encircled in His love.                                                                                                                           You are held in His grace

Our God is All-sufficient
Always Enough

Always faithful

Always loving

Always there.
Soli Deo Gloria



 ‘Life as a fairy tale’ was originally posted on http://www.blessedme.co.uk & published in Wider World magazine in 2011

 

 

Life interrupted ;

curlysue028


I am 1 in 4 

i.e. I am one of the one in four whose life has been affected by mental illness.
(iam1in4.com)

But you’ll know that already if you’ve read my story.

Nowadays I don’t often dwell on my labels. But recently I have been thinking more than usual.

Maybe it’s because May was Mental Health Awareness Month.

Maybe reading others’ stories struck a chord- especially on the Have you seen that girl website. It’s all about raising  Maternal Mental Health Awareness ( for there’s STILL no mother & baby unit in NI)

Maybe it was the preacher describing a man admitted to Knockbracken Psychiatric Hospital. His words transported me back instantly-thirteen years in a millisecond!

Even reading the term Postnatal Psychosis in stark black & white unleashed emotions long buried under years of good health.

In my opinion, postnatal psychosis:

*Is a tsunami in the mind that creates chaos in everyday life – the aftermath takes years to settle.

*A happy celebration of new life in the family morphs into a life-altering nightmare.

*Everyday life is distorted beyond recognition.

*Your sleep-starved deluded self exists in a world that makes sense initially but disintegrates as thoughts clash faster & faster.

*The fabric of daily life unravels beneath us into tangles & we’re free falling from the life we love into the abyss of depression & psychosis.

I believe only God can turn our tangled mess into a tapestry for His glory ( though it often looks like a tangle rather than a tapestry from our underside perspective)

God didn’t heal me instantly like the guy in the sermon. But He was there in the middle of my story.

And ‘Faith thanks God in the middle of the story’ (Ann Voskamp)

God meets us in the mess.

He brings His life-giving light to the darkest situations.

He gives Hope to our hopelessness.

And Calm in our chaos.

He ushers in Peace to our troubled souls.

The Good Shepherd carries us:

‘He will feed his flock like a shepherd. He will carry the lambs in his arms, holding them close to his heart. He will gently lead the mother sheep with their young.’ (‭‭Isaiah‬ ‭40:11‬ ‭NLT‬‬)

His inexhaustible grace is the balm for our restless minds.

In my experience, personally & working as a doctor for twenty years, there are no quick fixes with mental illness. It takes time- much longer than we expect or allow :

‘For the longest way round is the shortest way home’                                                                            (CS Lewis- Mere Christianity)

Yes , it takes time to get truly home- to be clear in your own mind,comfortable in your own skin, present in your own life.

In my case it also took family, friends, psychiatrists, medication, support, faith, reading, running, & writing

I’ve been encouraged by others’ stories & struggles.

Amy Bluel formed Project semi colon as a social media movement in 2013 to bring hope & love to those struggling with depression, suicide ,addiction & self injury. Across the globe semicolon symbols have been tattooed as a visual reminder.

The Oxford Dictionary states ‘The main task of the semicolon is to mark a break that is stronger than a comma but not as final as a full stop’ The semicolon  is used by writers to signify that is not the end of a sentence.

When your life or the life of those you love is deeply impacted by mental illness- it is not the end. It is an interruption but not the conclusion. It’s a dark chapter but not the end of the story.

Our struggle is a crucial part of the story. Our semi colon gives more depth to our lives. We wouldn’t choose the punctuation- but we live into it.

‘God’s power is often found when we shift from begging to remove our struggle to listening to Him speak in our trouble’ (Lysa Terkheurst)

‘Though you have made me see troubles, many and bitter, you will restore my life again; from the depths of the earth you will again bring me up.’ (‭‭Psalm‬ ‭71:20‬ ‭NIV‬‬)

When we are in life’s deepest pits (often in the depths of our minds) , we are not alone.
‘All you need to remember is that God will never let you down; he’ll never let you be pushed past your limit; he’ll always be there to help you come through it.’ (1 Corinthians‬ ‭10:13‬ ‭MSG‬‬)

‘But when I am afraid, I will put my trust in you.                                                                                   For you have rescued me from death; you have kept my feet from slipping. So now I can walk in your presence, O God, in your life-giving light.’‭‭.                                                                           (Psalms‬ ‭56:3, 13‬ ‭NLT‬‬)

‘So we’re not giving up. How could we! Even though on the outside it often looks like things are falling apart on us, on the inside, where God is making new life, not a day goes by without his unfolding grace.’
(‭‭2 Corinthians‬ ‭4:16MSG)

In His grace, God is:
Redeeming our lives

Healing our hearts

Protecting our minds

If we are 1 in 4 we can trust Him with our minds when we worry about becoming unwell again:

‘You will keep in perfect peace those whose minds are steadfast, because they trust in you. Trust in the LORD forever, for the LORD, the LORD himself, is the Rock eternal.’                     (Isaiah‬ ‭26:3-4‬ ‭NIV‬‬)

Mental illness never just affects individuals. It deeply impacts relationships, families & communities.

Amy Bleuel wrote “For we are all in this together. I ask you stick around with us for this journey. We might surprise you in the end with the outcome.”

Sadly on 23rd March 2017 Amy committed suicide.

Every 90 minutes someone in the UK or Ireland dies by suicide.

There isn’t always a happy ending in this life. As Christians we aren’t immune to the tragedy & heartbreaking travesty of suicide. There are no easy words. We don’t have answers but we do have our Saviour.

The profound truth is that ‘This world is not conclusion’ as Emily Dickinson wrote. Even death itself is not the full stop- but rather another semi-colon

Life is hard.

But God is faithful & always there.

We must trust His promises …

in the hardest of places

For:
‘He will not turn away from your questions or be surprised by your grief. He will not be repulsed by your anger or turn his back on your pain. He understands the darkest moments of human existence and enters them with boundless mercy, unending love, and amazing grace.’   (Paul Tripp-Heart of the matter)

If our own life or the life of someone we love has been interrupted by mental illness, we can bring those deep wounds to God for:
‘He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.’‭‭                                                              (Psalm‬ ‭147:3‬ ‭NIV)

*If you’re concerned about family or friends – talk to them. They may not have the courage to start the conversation.

*If you’re concerned about how you’re feeling- speak to your GP- we can usually signpost toward the right help.

Blessings,

Ruth x

PS ‘Life Interrupted’ was originally posted @ http://www.blessedme.co.uk